I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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