I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
