So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
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