Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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