you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
