no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
