garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
