I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Randomize
