And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
