I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
