So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
