There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
dude. I can hear the air.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
