I don't think brook has ever known best
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
