The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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