Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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