I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
