i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
