Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
