My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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