i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
