she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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