My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
