another moral hangover. fuck.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
