Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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