I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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