I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
