Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
