Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
