Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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