He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
