I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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