just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
