I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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