so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My life is pants optional.
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