I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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