He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
