we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
All I want is dick and wine.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
