Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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