doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
