Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
