just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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