bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
