SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
MIDGETS
????
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
