God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize
