She is in my trunk
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
