i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
