you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
