ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
barbara walters just said penis...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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