I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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