I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Randomize
